


Autumn is Over

by uhhtaegigay



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Childhood Friends, F/M, Female Reader, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Im Changkyun | I.M & Lee Jooheon are Best Friends, Killing, Male-Female Friendship, Mentioned Monsta X Ensemble, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Sex, Soft Im Changkyun | I.M, Sub Lee Jooheon, Top Im Changkyun | I.M, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhhtaegigay/pseuds/uhhtaegigay
Summary: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲/𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Reader, Lee Jooheon/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Autumn is Over

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a two part fic. In the first part, there is an established relationship with jooheon but overall, it is changkyun x fem!reader

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊  
✾ ⋆ ┊. ˚.  
PΛЯƬ ӨПΣ  
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ 

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚❀ ⋆｡˚❃ 

┊ ┊ ┊ ✿ 

┊ ┊ ❁⋆ 

┊ ๑ ┊ 

✾ ⋆ ┊. ˚. 

˚✽ 

Autumn of 2001 was where it all began. Bright orange leaves drifted across the sky like they were in their own world, dancing to a song you couldn't hear. You were five years old then, hanging onto your single mother's hand in a tight grip as she walked you to the local daycare center. Most of the children you met in that daycare center lived with similar circumstances, only staying there during the daytime so their own single parent's could work and make a living. At the time, you were blissfully ignorant to the suffering and difficulty your mother was going through in trying to raise you in a decent household. The only thing you were worried about at that time was the now missing tooth in the very front of your mouth.  
When you arrived at the daycare center, your mother crouched down to look you in the eyes, a soft and sweet smile on her face. Warmth filled you at the sight, and without an ounce of hesitation, you clung to your mother. "Do I have to go?" You asked her, your voice sounding so frail and quiet against the harsh autumnal wind. Your mother cupped your tiny face in her gloved hands and spoke to you in that voice, the one that made your heart feel warm and fuzzy, the one that reminded you of how much she loved you. "I don't want to leave you, either, princess. Mommy has to work so she can make you happy, though." Though you were young and ignorant, you understood the implications. Mommy needs to make money for us to live. So without further complaint, you learned in and kissed your mother's forehead gently. After saying your goodbyes and checking in at the front desk, you'd been escorted into a room.  
That room was both exciting and terrifying for you to behold. A gaggle of children huddled up together on a large, colorful, round carpet as a woman, who was probably near your mother's age, read a storybook aloud. You were late, that much was obvious, and the sound of your entrance drew the attention of the woman and all of the children. Despite the fact that you'd disrupted her storytelling, the woman smiled kindly at you. "Welcome, sweetheart. Please come take a seat," she greeted you and her sweet tone of voice eased the weariness you'd felt. You quickly ushered into the room, heard the door click shut as the person who'd escorted you left. Without much thought, you took a seat at the back, next to a young boy with a yellow spongebob squarepants t-shirt on. He had soft looking brown hair that was just long enough to reach the tips of his ears. He glanced at you from the corner of his eye and quickly looked back to the caretaker when you noticed his attention. That happened again a couple times before you finally smiled and quietly held your hand out to him. "I'm y/n, what's your name?" He smiled back at you, soft dimples appearing on the boy's cheeks. His voice came out soft and almost apprehensive when he replied, "My name is Changkyun." 

༺♡༻ 

Your friendship didnt end there. By the time you'd both reached middle school, you'd had many years of friendship behind you. Thirteen year old changkyun was just as soft and shy as he had been on the day you'd met. The only difference was that by that time, he had opened up to you in a way that he hadn't with many others. Underneath his shy exterior was a bubbly, smart and sarcastic young boy. Someone who shared your love of manga and rainbow sherbert, both of which you'd experienced for the first time together. It wasn't uncommon for the two of you to spend days at each other's homes, spending nights together watching anime and eating whatever junk food was stored in the house. Things started to change though, soon after the start of seventh year.  
Changkyun had become somewhat moody and closed off, even to you, which was the first blow. You'd grown used to the full-disclosure nature of your friendship, so when Changkyun suddenly became secretive, you couldn't help but worry that you had done something to cause the change of behavior. "Kyun," you reached out and grasped the sleeve of his jacket before he could race out of the school yard. It was once again autumn in your little town, and it's bitter wind was just as merciless as it had been the day you and changkyun had met. "Did I do something wrong?" It was then that changkyun turned his head to look at you. You were the same height, so you established eye contact with ease and repeated your question, "did I do something wrong?" Your best friend's face crumpled into a worried expression at the hurt in your eyes, in your voice. Within the next second, you were being pulled into changkyun's arms, and you welcomed the warmth his body offered you. "You could never do anything wrong," the boy breathed into your ear.  
After that, things went back to normal for the most part. Your mother laughed when you explained the course of events to her, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. You pestered her to tell you why she was smiling like that. What was so funny? She leaned down to you and whispered one word into your ear, "puberty." You didn't necessarily understand but the internet was a wonderful place to do research. Needless to say, once you understood, you couldn't help but tease changkyun everytime his voice cracked or he became a moody brat out of nowhere. You couldn't tease him for long, though, once an unbearable pain in your stomach and a pair of bloody panties came about. 

༺♡༻ 

High school was when things really began to change between the two of you. Once the woes of puberty had settled down and school had begun getting serious the closer you got to graduation, there wasn't nearly as much time for the two of you to sit in your tree house, reading manga and sharing candies as there was before. Week days were spent at school, then at home completing homework. For you, there was also a part time job to juggle along with your load of school work. Your mom had grown ill, and most days couldn't make it out of bed. You were glad to shoulder the burden of work as long as your mother was able to stay safe at home. You missed the old days, though, without a doubt. You missed the times when you could be carefree and run about as you pleased. You missed changkyun the most. You peeked around the convenience store to make sure there were no customers about to approach you and stealthily (or as stealthily as you could manage) pulled your hand-me-down flip phone out of your pocket. 

You: kyun, wyd? 

Kyun: I'm with the boys  
Kyun: wud? 

A blush spread across your face at the mention of the boys. Shownu and Jooheon were changkyun's other close friends, and through him, you'd hung out relatively often, though not enough to really know anything about them. That lack of knowledge didn't stop your heart from fluttering when you imagined Jooheon's sweet smile and prominent dimples. 

You: working. How is honey doing? 

Kyun: if ur so worried about him then text him and stop wasting my time. 

Your jaw dropped as you read the message, though you hadn't had time to respond before a customer approached you, ready to check out. You weren't sure you wanted to respond to that anyway. Clearly changkyun didn't want you to, anyway, you thought. The rest of the night, your mood was positively sour. That sour mood stretched on into the next day and then the day after that when you had heard nothing from your best friend, even after you had texted him again and again. You hadn't even ran into him at school, and since you were in different classes, never even got a chance to see him. Nearly a week of silence had passed when you decided that you'd do just as changkyun had wished. You'd reach out to jooheon and not waste his time by texting him anymore. 

You: hey honey! How r u? 

Your stomach twisted into knots of anxiety as you awaited his response. On good days, changkyun would text you back nearly instantly, but jooheon wasn't quite as quick. His response filtered in nearly ten minutes later. 

Joohoney: I'm good! How r uuuuuu?:) 

You: I'm good 2:) have u heard from kyun? 

Joohoney: yea, he's with me now. 

You wouldn't admit that your stomach dropped to your feet after hearing that. You'd thought maybe, just maybe, changkyun wasn't answering you because he was bogged down with schoolwork, but he had enough time to hang out with jooheon. You flipped your phone shut, and didn't even pick it up when you'd received another message from jooheon.  
When you finally met Changkyun again, he had waited at the school gates for you, to your surprise. You figured it wasn't you he was waiting on, so you strode right past the boy, ignoring the painful twinge in your chest as you did so. "Hey!" He called out from behind you, quickly catching up and falling into step at your side. You glanced over at him, putting as much ice into the look as you could manage. "Oh," you chucked softly. "Are you talking to me again?" Embarrassed heat rushed to changkyun's face, turning it bright pink. The sight made you want to smile smugly at him and throw a victory punch into the air. You did neither, though, but instead maintained your unamused expression.  
"I'm sorry," changkyun mumbled softly, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. "I guess I was jealous." That statement nearly stopped you in your tracks. Changkyun jealous? Jealous that you were asking about another boy? Did the mean that he had some kind of feelings for you? Changkyun continued, "I keep thinking jooheon is gonna steal my best friend away." You couldn't explain the feeling of disappointment that overwhelmed you in that moment. You plastered on a smile, though, and simply told your best friend it was okay and not to overreact so much next time, nobody could replace him in your life.  
After that, things began to slowly but surely change. On your end, at least. The feelings you'd harbored for jooheon before had simmered down and then retreated, and in their place was a newfound light in which you saw your best friend. You wondered when he'd grown up so much, when he'd grown into his big ears and thick eyebrows. When did his body become so... proportionate? He was still awkward in his body, still tripped over his feet often and didn't quite know what to do with his arms when he stood in one place, but his figure had evened out pretty nicely. The growth spurt he'd hit not long ago had the male almost towering over your short frame. He wasn't muscular by any means, but his softness was adorable, and you found yourself wanting to poke him and hug him and squeeze him tight at any chance given.  
You didn't want to admit it, had adamantly pushed the truth to the side and carried on that way for months. And everything was fine that way, you thought. Until you somehow ended up trapped underneath changkyun on the floor of your treehouse. Since you'd both grown a great deal, the treehouse was barely tall and wide enough for you both to fit inside, so when changkyun tripped over a comic and fell, of course- OF COURSE, the only place for him to fall was right smack on top of you. It was like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy and had your eyes not locked with changkyun's, you might've laughed your ass off at the situation. As it was, though, deep brown eyes stared down into yours intently. Changkyun's eyes searched yours, for an answer to a question that he couldn't verbalize. It was like time had stopped right then and there, and the only things still in motion were the two of you. Questions, so many questions. But you decided to hold off on them all, they could wait. The feeling of Changkyun's hand cushioning your head from the wooden floor, the feeling of his other hand lying warmly on your waist, could not wait. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that, silently. pressed so incredibly close to each other as you stared into each others eyes. but when the moment was over and both of you were on your feet once more, changkyun was quick to mumble his goodbyes and haul ass out of the treehouse, leaving you there alone. That was the last time you saw Changkyun. 

༺♡༻ 

Six years had passed since the last time you'd seen your best friend. Over the years, you'd tried to get in touch with him somehow, but as his father insisted he hadn't gone missing and nobody else seemed to be able to contact changkyun either, your efforts had all proven to be futile. Eventually, you gave up. Wherever he was, you hoped he was miserable. You realized that might've sounded a bit too hateful, but you were hurt. Only one good thing had come out of the ordeal.  
You smiled at your reflection in the mirror, pleased with the person that looked right back at you. After glancing at the time on your watch, you cursed loudly as you realized you would be late if you didn't leave right that minute. You had a limited amount of time to spend out on the town before you had to go into work, you had the graveyard shift that night. With a speed that you shouldn't have been capable of, you swiped up your bag and the bag containing your boyfriend's gift and booked it out the door, making sure to lock up behind you. In a flash, you had already been seated on the bus with a tired but content smile on your face. Tonight was the night, you felt it. The city glittered outside the window, all the lights blurred together as the bus drove and drove and drove. Your destination was on the other side of town, so your ride would take a bit of time. Eyes closed, you leaned your head against the cool window and felt each little bump in the road. You stayed that way, happily soaking in the knowledge of what that day meant to you, until your phone began vibrating in the pocket of your coat. An unsaved number flashed on the screen. Hesitantly, you answered.  
"Hello?" 

"Hello, is this y/n?" 

"It is, whom is asking?" 

"This is Mr. Im! Do you remember me?" 

Your heart sped up as you realized it was changkyun's father. 

"Mr. Im? It's been so long, I cant believe I've forgotten your voice!" 

"It happens, young lady, dont feel bad. I was just calling to tell you my wild child is back in town if you want to come see him." 

Your heart, which bad previously sped up, felt as if it stopped right then. Chocolate brown eyes and deep dimples flashed in your mind, a painful memory of a beautiful boy you wanted to forget. Even so, your body suddenly felt heavy and itchy. the urge to get up and run straight off the bus, straight to changkyun's house was strong. 

"Oh really?" You bit your lip in thought, then shook your head. "I'm afraid I'm quite busy these days, with work and school. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it before he leaves again." The line went silent, as if the microphone had been muted on the other end, before it crackled and Mr. Im's voice returned.  
"Well, he will be here for about a week, if you get any free time." You ended the conversation as quickly as possible and shoved your phone into your bag, staring blankly out the window. The content you felt only moments before evaporated into thin air, leaving a hollow feeling in its wake. It was your three year anniversary with jooheon. You were almost positive that it was the night your longtime boyfriend would finally propose to you, therefore you refused to allow a ghost of your past to return and ruin your chances. You reminded yourself that was all that changkyun was to you then, a ghost of the past that you would leave in the past. The rest of the bus ride felt suffocating.  
The lights of Lotte World shone brightly, though the fact that the sky was still a fading blue meant that it was not quite dark enough for the lights to show their full potential. Excitement distracted you from your anxiety momentarily, as you scanned the benches near the entrance in search of one particular man, the man who could ease all your worries with just a smile. But he was nowhere in sight. You pursed your lips and checked the time on your watch, fifteen minutes after seven. You were a couple minutes late, so maybe he was as well. You decided to wait, taking a seat on an empty bench that overlooked the entrance. Couples and families alike poured both in and out of the park, all grinning from ear to ear. Not a care in the world showing on their faces. You wished that was you.  
The time passed by so achingly slow, seconds turning to minutes, then minutes turning to hours. You'd called jooheon a couple times, to no avail, until it was just about time for you to go into work. Chest feeling heavier than ever, you stood up and made your way back to the bus stop. The phone in your hand finally, finally began buzzing, the words my honey flashing on the screen. "Where are you?" You asked, your voice surprisingly calm, not depicting the true anger and pain you felt. "Baby," he paused, laughed at something or someone in the background, then continued, "I'm so sorry, I know you're probably already on your way to work, arent you?" You hummed your confirmation, afraid that if you spoke any words, your voice might've betrayed you. Jooheon sighed through the receiver, sounding genuinely troubled. "I'm sorry, baby. I know today is an important day for us. Changkyun is back in town, and I lost track of time with him, I didnt even realize how late it was already." Once again, your heart seemed to stop inside your chest.  
You had turned down the chance to meet with changkyun, even if it was for more personal reasons than just your plans, and yet jooheon had... stood you up on your anniversary to see him. It felt like another grand betrayal. At your silence, jooheon began making promises. "I'll be at your place first thing in the morning and will spend all day making it up to you." You didn't bother to respond, instead you chose to simply press the red button, ending the call. Whether he made it up to you or not didnt matter to you at all at that moment. After all, you were scheduled to work from ten that night until five the next morning, so despite jooheon's promise to make it up to you the next day, you had already planned on sleeping in.  
  
༺♡༻ 

11:52pm. Within just a matter of minutes, the last dregs of autumn would come to a halt and the beginning of a dreary winter would take its place. You hadn't even been working for long and already, you wanted to go home and cry alone in your bed. Truthfully, after being stood up by your boyfriend, you didnt want to go into work at all but that month's rent would be due very soon and you couldn't risk losing even a penny. You'd only had one customer in the last hour since you'd arrived, an older man who quickly ate his fill and left you alone once more. The silence was eerie, serving to only further agitate your anxiety. Deciding on how to liven the atmosphere, you stroll over to the cute jukebox tucked into the corner. It was a newer model, courtesy of the fund's the diner owner had mysteriously acquired. You couldn't complain, though, because it had a nice range of music, both old and newer.  
one of your favorite songs being amongst the list of playable songs brought a small smile to your face. With music filling the silence, it was much easier for you to get to work. You decided to conquer the massive load of dishes that the previous shift had left to you first. The night progressed much in the same way all night unti all the dishes had been cleaned, dried and stacked away and your spare change purse was completely empty. Closing time had finally come. You just needed to finish cleaning up the restrooms before heading out. Equipped with a broom, dustpan, windex and bleach, you scurried into the women's restroom first.  
The smell of the bleach was damn near headache inducing as you disinfected every inch of the restroom. Upon hearing the distant sound of the diner bell ringing, you sat the cleaning supplies in the corner and washed your hands before hurrying back out to meet the customer. And what an odd customer it was that met you. The man standing near the door seemed to be wearing black dress pants and dress shoes, but an oversized red hoodie covered his upper half. His hair was covered by the hood of his hoodie and a mask disguised the lower portion of his face. "I'm sorry, sir. We are already closed," you apologized, bowing slightly to the (kinda creepy) man. "What do you mean you're closed? The door was unlocked," he shot back, instantly. The moment he spoke, you shot straight up in recognition, vaguely aware that you had mumbled aloud the very name you'd vowed to forget, "changkyun." Time stood still as you took a good look at the man's eyes, taking note of the black ring that laid around the left one, and you noticed that yes, it was indeed your former best friend. "Im Changkyun, what the hell are you doing here?" You practically growled at him, though it didnt seem to phase him quite as much as you had intended it to.  
Silently, changkyun glanced up toward the ceiling, looked around the entire area in search of something- what that something was, you didnt know. Faster than you could even blink, your former best friend was upon you, grabbing onto your forearm and guiding (read: dragging) you in the direction of the bathrooms. Anger washed over you, silencing every ounce of common sense that you had as you struggled against the man's grip, not really wanting anything to do with him. With you struggling, Changkyun's patience seemed to run out incredibly quickly. He turned around and snapped, "I'm not gonna fucking do anything to you, and I really need help so just follow me please, away from the cameras." He released your arm and stalked off into the women's restroom, expecting you to follow. Part of you reasoned that his behavior was definitely suspicious and he couldn't be trusted, but another part of you recalled the changkyun you knew so well who wouldn't ever hurt you. Your stupid sentimentality won out and you hesitantly strode into the restroom to find changkyun.  
The hoodie he had been wearing had been discarded onto the floor along with the black suit jacket he had worn underneath. The white dress shirt he still had on was halfway undone and nearly the entire front side was stained with a bright red liquid. "Changkyun, what the fuck," you huffed, rushing to the male. Without preamble, your hands reached out and ripped the dress shirt free from where it had been tucked into changkyun's trousers, and you made quick work of the remaining buttons. With the shirt pushed aside, the wound on Changkyun's abdomen was then visible. A gunshot wound. Your blood ran cold at the sight of it and your body froze in place. "Are you going to let it continue bleeding until I pass out or are you going to help me?" Changkyun's voice broke you out of your stupor and even though you were already reaching for the paper towels, you sneered, "give me one good fucking reason I should help your sorry ass." To be completely fair, changkyun didnt look surprised by the outburst in the slightest. He threw his head back, looked up at the ceiling. "I dont really have a good enough reason you should help me, other than for the sake of saving your old friend's life." You snorted at that, examining the wound further. For the past year or so, you'd been studying medicine and had not only shadowed other doctors but had also done a fair amount of hands on work yourself, through your university. "I could hardly call this saving your life when the wound isnt even a life threatening one." Changkyun was quick to counter your claim by saying, "even if the wound itself isnt life threatening, the amount of blood I'm losing is. So could you please stanch the bleeding?" It was a question but it came off as more of a command and even if you wanted to refuse, you simply couldn't.  
"First time you show your face around me in six years and its only to ask me to do you a fucking favor," you mumbled under your breath, ignoring the weight of changkyun's gaze on you as you folded the paper towels in your hand neatly. He hissed at the pain once you applied pressure to the wound. Holding the towels onto the wound with one hand, you used the other to reach out and grab changkyun's hand, guiding it to apply the pressure himself. "Wait here," you instructed, and before the male could protest, you scrambled out of the restroom to retrieve the first aid kit in the supply closet. Once you were alone, you let out a sigh you hadn't known you'd been holding in. You were trying too hard to stay angry and cold or at the very least indifferent, but in the given circumstances, it was too easy for you to fall back into the worry that was slowly consuming you. A gunshot wound at five in the morning?? You gritted your teeth, aggressively ripping the first aid kit out of its place in the closet. "I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in," you chanted on your way back into the restroom, just to reinforce your nerves.  
Changkyun glanced at you, a slightly surprised expression on his worn face. "You came back," he breathed out, sounding relieved. A mighty scowl was directed at the man as you clarified, "this is my workplace, it isnt like I could've left a wounded, bleeding man in the women's restroom." A hint of a smile played across changkyun's face, barely there but just visible enough for you to pick up on it. "Dont smile at me," your scowl deepened before you resumed cleaning up the wound and stanching the bleeding. A moment of silence passed between the two of you before the question you'd been wondering about since you saw the blood on changkyun's clothes was asked. "How did you get shot?"  
The male in question smiled cryptically, avoided eye contact as he answered vaguely, "just running around." The answer drew a loud, ugly snort out of you. "Running around? What are you, a gangster?" The question was purely satirical, but changkyun's silence and deadpan gaze at the wall as he avoided your eyes was mildly concerning. "You're not really...are you?" The bandage in your hand fell to the floor and you cursed as you retrieved a new, clean one to apply. You leaned in close to wrap the bandage around changkyun's abdomen, your breath fanned over the male's neck and collarbone. The feeling drew a soft, barely audible whine out of changkyun, though you figured it was due to the pain of the wound. "Dont be a whiny brat, you got yourself into this mess. Theres no way you're really-" changkyun finally met your eyes as he cut you off, "I'm not a fucking gangster."  
Your breath caught in your throat at the sudden emotion in changkyun's eyes- anger, fear, pain. You were sure yours looked just the same as you locked eyes silently. That time was much different than the last time you'd locked eyes back in the treehouse, though. "Well," coughing to break the sudden tension, you brushed the details of how changkyun acquired his injury under the rug. "What you do is none of my business." Quickly, you gathered up the trash and bloody paper towels and discarded them. "If that was all you needed, you can leave now. The bleeding is stopped and you're bandaged up. I predict you'll live an annoyingly long life, Mr. Im." Changkyun hated being called that- "mr. Im is my dad," he always used to groan everytime anyone called him that. The use of the title coming from you very visibly annoyed changkyun.  
"You're just throwing me out?"  
You whirled to face him again, the anger inside of you lighting up like a kerosene heater. "Do you not see that I'm working? I was about to finish and go home to sleep before you stalked your insane ass in here with a gunshot wound from who knows where asking the person you walked out on six years ago for help, so please forgive me, Mr. Im, if I dont feel inclined to have you in my company for longer than necessary." The anger, the heat that had riled you up was present in the male before you as well. It showed in the way every breath he took was harsh, heavy like he had been running a marathon. "You think," his voice was oddly calm, like he was suppressing his own feelings, "that I wanted to leave? To not come back, to not see you?"  
You couldn't look at him anymore, the sight of him made your heart feel like it had been ran through a paper shredder. "How am I supposed to know what you wanted?" Your voice shuddered and you could've slapped yourself silly for it, because the look of pity, of sorrow that changkyun gave you was utterly sickening. His hands came to rest atop his head, woven between the threads of hair. Hair, that had gotten so much longer, you finally realized. Bangs hung in changkyun's eyes if he didnt push them back, and the tips of his hair reached well past his ears, almost in a mullet style. You also realized that despite the drastic physical changes (read: the tanned and muscular body) he had made since the last you saw him, he was still the same awkward boy who didnt know where to put his hands when he was stood still in one place. His next question drew you out of your thoughts. "Have you not even gone to the treehouse since I left?" Vaguely, you wondered why that mattered at all. But the thought at the forefront of your brain spilled first.  
"My mom got sicker not long after you disappeared. I didnt have time to do anything but take care of her. I couldn't even go to school, but luckily I still graduated somehow," changkyun tilted his head, unsure of where you were going with that. "When I say she got sicker, I meant...very sick. She passed away. She left the house to me but I haven't been back there since mom's funeral." For the first time that night, changkyun's calm composure cracked, showing a hint of the vulnerable and emotional boy beneath. "No," he denied. "There's no way she's gone." To changkyun, who grew up without a mother, your mom was like the rain after a drought. She treated changkyun with such love and thoughtfulness that an outsider might think he was her real son, and changkyun loved her just as deeply as she'd love him. News of that woman's passing stung him worse than even a gunshot.  
Dazed, changkyun leaned his body against the sink behind him and closed his eyes. "Are you serious?" His voice cracked as he tried to reel in the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Your heart cracked and splintered into pieces at the sight, at the reminder of your mom. "I'm serious, changkyun." A long silence stretched on between you two, tears hanging in the confines of each of your eyes like stars. A shared loss, a pain that you'd lived with for years was now also pressed into the chamber of changkyun's heart. A fresh wound for him to deal with. You tore your eyes away from the man again, unable to look at that raw pain. It was worse than all the blood that had spilled from his abdomen previously. You didnt know how much time had passed as the two of you silently mourned, unsure of what condolences could. e offered in that moment. Changkyun eventually broke the silence once he'd recovered enough but his question took you off guard. "Can you take me there?"  
Newfound anger replaced the sadness in your eyes as you turned that question over and over. You had no doubt that changkyun had cared for your mom and you knew he was truly hurt by the knowledge of her passing, but seriously? "Are you kidding me?" The male's silence was answer enough to make you scoff. "You left, changkyun. You left and stayed gone for not just days or even months but years, do you think you have any right to go back to that house?" You couldn't believe the nerve of the guy you'd once called your best friend. He must have had a few loose screws in his cranium, you thought. Changkyun sighed deeply at you, at the anger that had your face turning pink, at the balled up fists hanging at your sides. "Most of my childhood was spent there, and the only mother figure I had lived in that house with the best friend I cherished deeply. I know I'm a fucking idiot and it's my fault that I left and missed out, but I still wanna see it one more time before I leave. So... do whatever you want," he nodded to your fists, "hit me if you want. I wont fight it."  
Your jaw fell open the tiniest bit as you stared at the man, searching for and gathering up the right words to say. "Im Changkyun..." you took a deep, steadying breath. "I never mentioned it but I realized something when I was younger. When we had problems, you had a habit of making your way back to me when autumn came. And I let you come back everytime without hesitation, every single time," an unidentifiable look crossed over your former best friend's face.  
"When you disappeared, at first I thought it was because... because you realized the secret I'd been keeping from you, the only secret I had ever kept from you. And I thought it scared you or disgusted so badly that you couldn't look at me, but even still I waited for you." You laughed at the truth in your words. "Every autumn, I waited out in front of my house for you. After mom passed, I couldn't stand to go inside because that place was full of memories of the two most precious people to me that I lost. I still waited, though. Outside. Until I realized you just...weren't coming back this time, and I stopped," with your arm extended to changkyun, showing him the time on your watch, you continued, "autumn is over now, changkyun. Its winter now." You didnt say anything else but changkyun heard those unspoken words.. autumn is over and so are we. Soon after your outburst, you finished cleaning up and changkyun left without saying goodbye. 

༺♡༻  
You weren't sure why you were there. Standing in front of your childhood home, staring into the dark windows. The yard was neatly trimmed and cleaned up, courtesy of the monthly fee you paid to a landscaping business. Whether you had shown up at that house after so many years because you really wanted to or because of your meeting with changkyun, you didnt know. Either way, you took a few hesitant steps toward the house and then stopped as the ache in your chest bloomed and intensified. You weren't sure you could do it, then or ever. Instead, you treaded your way into the back hard, took in the empty inground pool and the garden of flowers that your mother had once cared for so meticulously. You went there often, if only to make sure your mother's flowers didnt die. Going inside was a task you still couldn't stomach, though, so you sighed and took a seat on the edge of the pool, leaving your feet to dangle inside.  
The pool held a lot of memories as well, like you and changkyun learning to swim there together, and your birthday pool parties that were exclusive to the two of you up until you both had finally started befriending others.  
If you closed your eyes, you could bring up a vivid picture of your younger self clinging onto changkyun for dear life as he guided you from one end of the pool to the other. He had caught onto the swimming thing far quicker than you had, and despite the fact that you were scared out of your wits, your best friend was warm and gentle and his smile encouraged you not to stop. Your mom was lounging in a foldout chair, oblivious to the world. Those were the good days.  
Another sigh pushed it way from your mouth as you stared into the empty pool, lost in thought. It had been exactly a week since the day changkyun came back into town. You remembered what his father told you. "He's probably gone again," you mumbled to yourself. You were glad, of course you were glad. Or so you told yourself. In all honesty, you didn't know how you felt about anything. Hurt, confused, angry, sad. You hadn't spoken to Jooheon since you blew up at him the day after your anniversary.  
He had shown up to your apartment with a case of beer and a small box of chocolates. "Baby," jooheon exhaled the pet name like a sigh, like a weight off his chest. Within seconds of opening the door, jooheon already had you wrapped in his embrace. Even though that hug made you warm inside, made all your muscles, your anger and hurt kept you from truly relaxing into it. Which your boyfriend definitely noticed. "Baby?" The name came out as a question that time as he pulled back and analyzed your face. Jooheon took in the puffy eyes, the pale face.  
Immediately, you could tell he was regretting it. "Baby, did you not sleep last night? God, I'm so stupid," he mumbled and attempted to pull you into another embrace. You swatted his hands away, rejecting the hug. Deep down you want to tell him he wasnt stupid and your sleepless, tearful night wasn't his fault, but you didnt say any of that. Instead you said, "I got the call too, you know. About changkyun. I didnt go though, because I had already made plans to be with you. On our anniversary. On the night I thought I would become the future mrs. lee jooheon." Your boyfriend's face drained of color, a look of surprise etched into his features. "Mrs....?" He trailed off as he finally understood the implication. His reaction was enough to tell you that you'd been a fool to think he was going to propose. You quickly continued before he had a chance to respond, "I chose you over changkyun, over my best friend. But you chose him."  
Jooheon, still standing at your door was seemingly at a loss for words. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water until he finally recomposed himself. "I didn't... think it would be this big of a deal, you dont care when I'm late any other time," he mumbled, sounding very much like a kid getting scolded for being bad. "That's exactly the problem, jooheon. This isn't even the first time you've stood me up, this happens so often that I shouldn't even bother planning any fucking dates with you." In all the time you'd been together, you had quietly sat by and bottled up your emotions in regards to jooheon's tendency to forget your plans. "Even so, I thought for sure on our anniversary, you wouldn't dare come late or stand me up. But you did. I'm not even important enough for you to remember meeting with, I dont know how I could've thought you would propose to me," you were more or less talking to yourself at that point. Jooheon offered no excuses for his actions, only mumbled over and over 'I'm sorry' and 'i love you.' He didn't fight it when you politely asked him to leave.  
And he hadn't contacted you since then, either. You realized that was probably the beginning of the end of your relationship with jooheon. You glanced to your side where the case of beer sat inside a convenient store bag and you scooped it up into your grasp as you stood. Your brain didnt know where you were headed, but your feet certainly did. You ended up going to the treehouse, and somehow navigating your way up the ladder, which was quite a feat considering the bags you carried with you. When you were young, the treehouse seemed so large, so grand. But since you'd aged and grew, the treehouse was small and just barely big enough for you to stand in. Everything was just as you'd left it. One blue bean bag and one purple bean bag sat in the far corner, untouched for years. A shelf was stacked high with board games and notebooks that you knew held records of you and changkyun's wins and losses against one another.  
There was a small wooden table that had paint splatters and random stains from god knew what on it, and on top of that table was the radio that changkyun had gifted you for your birthday one year. The antenna was snapped, so it only picked up one or two channels clearly, the rest simply radio static. It still somehow smelled like that old lavender and peach blossom air freshener that changkyun used to buy for the treehouse, and the smell of it was like a wave of nostalgia washing over you. For such a little space, it held so many memories. So many years of little moments that made up who you were, that molded you into the character you'd became. Holding back the tears that welled up in your eyes, you tentatively sat at the table and placed the case of beer on top of it, along with your bag. You usually weren't the type to drink away your problems, you preferred to keep a sober mind so you could mull them over and come up with solutions. That method wouldn't work that time, though, you thought.  
Before you knew it, you were three beers down and you were almost positive that you'd cried three bucketfuls. On wobbly legs, you stood from the table and began rooting around in the mess of belongings that had been left behind. Somewhere amidst that mess, you found a small, cardboard shoebox. Dust had collected on it from the many years of neglect but you didn't remember ever seeing the box prior to your absence from the treehouse. Curiosity took the reigns and you pulled the lid off the box to find a single letter. Your brows furrowed at the sight of your name scrawled across the front of the envelope in changkyun's handwriting. With shaky hands you picked the envelope out of the box and stared blankly at it, unsure if you should open the letter or not. "Is this why he asked if I ever came back?" You wondered aloud as you ran your fingertips over your own name.  
The ink had long settled into the paper, but you could just imagine changkyun bent over his desk trying to write your name perfectly, as he always did. He had a habit of being a perfectionist over his handwriting whenever he addressed a paper to someone and you figured this letter was no exception. As you held the envelope, you noticed a certain weight it held. As if there was something other than paper inside, and when you opened the envelope, your suspicions were confirmed as a necklace fell into the box beneath. It was simple, a plain silver chain with an autumnal leaf pendant attached. You opened and closed your mouth as if you meant to speak but even if you were able to form a coherent sentence, there was nobody present to listen to you. The appearance of the necklace spurred your curiosity on even further and you quickly reached into the envelope and retrieved the letter that waited inside.  
Dear y/n,  
This is gonna sound super cliche and cheesy, okay? And you're probably gonna hate me after it's all said and done with, I'm sure. I have to leave now, and I don't know how long I'll be gone. I know that we have never kept secrets from each other but this time, I have to. I can't tell you what is happening, because I don't want you to get caught in the middle. Please dont look for me, and dont wait for me either. Just be happy, okay? God, I really hate to say this but.... go ask jooheon out if you think he'll make you happy...You know, I actually have a few secrets, I'm sorry. But I will tell you some of them is now because I dont know if I'll ever get the chance again. I like you. A lot. I have for a long time, actually. Why do you think I get so mad when I see you making heart eyes at jooheon? I like you so much that it makes me sick thinking of how you might end up dating him when I leave. I hate to think you might be happy without me when I know I wont be happy without you. Especially after ... that day I fell on you, when you looked at me like I was someone special and like you never wanted to let go. I thought I had a chance then, I really did. Maybe I would if I didnt have to leave. It wont be like usual. I wont be able to just come back when autumn comes... come to think of it, I've never told you why I come back to you in the autumn. It's actually been unintentional, really. I guess it's because autumn reminds me of you. We met for the first time when the leaves had turned and started falling. You were the first person to truly listen to me back then. And you gave me a stupid little leaf that had fallen off a tree on our way home as a prize of sorts for becoming your friend. Ive never forgotten that. Since I'm leaving now....dropping all this on you is probably unfair. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things. I'm sorry for making you cry, I'm sorry for not confessing sooner so we would've had more time. I'm sorry that I'm a jealous brat and we kept having problems. I'm sorry that I kept secrets from you. I really, truly am sorry. And I really, truly hope you're happy from now on. I wish you all the best, even though I wish I could be here to see it. Now, when I say i love you, I hope you realize the depth of it. I love you, y/n.  
Forever yours, kyun. 

A moment of utter silence passed. Complete stillness as you absorbed all the information you'd just acquired. He had liked you? He had to leave? You wondered why he spoke so oddly, as if he was running from someone or something. Like he was running out of time. That led your thoughts once again to the gunshot wound he'd came to you with, and with that, you began to regret not taking the man to the hospital that night. Was it related somehow? Was changkyun really some kind of gangster? You shuddered at the thought. There was no way he was, you determined. The necklace clutched in your hand held a new meaning, held so many questions you wished you could ask changkyun. "But he's gone," you mumbled, feelings of regret and sadness once again overwhelming you and bringing fresh tears to the surface. With changkyun and his questionable safety on your mind, you resumed your drinking late into the night, until the case of beer was gone and your eyes had swollen shut. 

༺♡༻ 

A month had passed since that night changkyun had came to your workplace with a bleeding side. During that time, your curiosity and confusion festered inside of you like a sickness. You realized, belatedly, that more than anything, you were worried. And slowly that worry began to turn into anxiety, paranoia. You were certain that someone was trying to harm changkyun, but you had no clue where he was or why he was in trouble. You'd tried to speak to jooheon about it, but then your relationship was on the rocks. "can you just- can you stop?" Jooheon sounded less mad than exhausted. His eyes softened upon seeing a brief look of hurt flashing in your face. "y/n, nobody knows where he is. And we've told you this a million times now. You're acting obsessed. What do you need to find him so badly for now?" You didnt know why, but you felt like you shouldn't tell anyone about what you saw, or about the letter. The little leaf pendant underneath your shirt felt like it was warming up against your bare skin.  
When you didnt answer, your boyfriend's face hardened. "You have feelings for him, dont you?" The question took you by surprise. "What?" You asked, eyes wide and shocked. Jooheon sighed, ran a hand over his face. "You liked him before he left, you waited for him for years. Then he finally comes back and what? Did your feelings return with him?" Anger pulsed through your veins and you stood up from the couch abruptly. "Are you forgetting that you are the one that stood me up on our anniversary to see him? I didnt even meet him at all while he was here," the lie tastes bitter as the words spill from your mouth. But you couldn't acknowledge that jooheon might be right, you wouldn't ever let changkyun have your heart again. "You're lying," jooheon mumbled, barely audible. "What?" You asked again, unsure of what to say. Jooheon, to your surprise, gave you a sad smile.  
"When you lie, the tips of your ears turn red like a warning sign," he sighed and looked away from you, like the sight of you had become unbearable, "and besides, kyun told me he met you. You wouldn't believe what else he said." You stayed silent, not knowing how to proceed from that point or what to do. Jooheon continued, though, "he told me to take better care of you. you look lonely, you look like you're in pain. He said that I need to pay more attention, and to look at your eyes because they always tell the truth or something like that." Jooheon suddenly looked back at you, directly into your eyes. "Are you lonely, y/n? Are you in pain?" Silence ensued, but that silence spoke volumes. You had truly loved jooheon, and you wouldn't have traded your time with him for anything, but somewhere along the line, there had been somewhat of an emptiness inside of you that nothing could fill. You had thought it would go away on it's own, that if you stayed with jooheon and got married, that emptiness would be filled. You didnt realize though, that in placing all of your bets on jooheon, you were neglecting the most important love that existed. Self love.  
You blamed yourself for changkyun leaving, for your mom's death. If only you hadn't shown changkyun that part of you that wanted more from him, if only you had worked harder and done better, your mom wouldn't have passed away. You jumped into your relationship with jooheon because you thought that if he wound up loving you, you would get better. And for a while, it seemed to work. Jooheon eased your anxieties, he made you forget the heartache and loss you felt even if it was only a temporary fix that would end when you parted ways. You depended too much on him and neglected yourself, and when his forgetful nature had started to become an issue, you felt trapped.  
"Its my fault," you confessed sadly. "Joohoney," you whispered in such a soft, caring voice. Your boyfriend smiled and gently wiped a stray tear from your face. "I'm here," he said. You looked up at him, into his eyes again. "You deserve so much better." Your eyes told him that you meant what you said. "I'm sorry," you uttered softly as jooheon cupped your face in his hands. Tender eyes stared straight through you, but all he said was that he was there again. his thumbs rubbed gently against your cheeks in time with the beat of your heart. It was at moments like that, when you were so close to share breath with jooheon, that it was almost easy to forget your worries. Almost. The kiss he placed on your lips felt like a goodbye, a parting gift. You brought your hands up to hold his face and with a slight tilt of your head, you deepened the kiss. Soft, slow and deep to ease the ache in your heart. A tidal wave of emotions let loose inside of you and you poured all of them into the kiss. The years of love, of loneliness, of expectations and losses, of happiness and ignorant contentment all transferred from one mouth to another, shared between two weeping hearts as tongues and teeth clacked together with a slowly escalating goodbye.  
Your hands began to roam, feeling every dip and curve of jooheon's body, not once breaking the kiss even to come up for breath. You felt that if you stopped, if you took the time to break apart from jooheon in that moment, you might just break down right there. So you snuck your hands underneath your boyfriend's shirt, taking note of the way his breath hitched into the kiss as your cold hands made contact with his bare skin. Light scratches along the expanse of jooheon's back had spurred him into action. With a new sense of urgency or maybe desperation, jooheon pulled you into his lap. The action had broken the kiss for only a split second before you bent down, chasing after the man's lips. You couldn't count on all your fingers and toes the number of times that you and jooheon had been in the same position as you were then, but none of those times held the same emotion as that time. Perhaps because both of you knew that it would be the last, or maybe because you both wanted to convey that your feelings were real while it lasted, even if a little flawed.  
You grinded your hips down into the growing bulge beneath you, drawing a soft groan from jooheon's throat that got caught in your mouth. "Again," he broke away from you to whisper, and you happily obliged. Jooheon gripped your hips tightly, holding you hips down as he rotted up against you and "fuck-" you nearly whimpered at not just the action, but also the expression on his face. Abruptly, you stood up and the loss of friction made your boyfriend sigh. You'd only stood up to quickly undress yourself, then dropped to your knees in front of jooheon. His eyes fell to the leaf necklace dangling around your neck and lingered there, a look you quickly decided to ignore. "Help me, yeah?" You hummed as you reached for the button of his pants, quickly popping it open. Jooheon lifted his hips to help you tug his jeans off, leaving him in just a pair of honey bee boxers that you'd bought him for christmas the previous year. Under normal circumstances, you would've laughed and cooed at jooheon, teasing him about those cutesy boxers, but as it was, the sight of them reminded you of the aching in your chest. You quickly discarded the underwear, and watched with thinly veiled interest as jooheon's thick cock sprung free. You wasted no time in attaching your mouth to his member, peppering soft kisses to the slit to start off.  
Jooheon was always a rather reactive bed partner, and each soft kiss you pressed against him garnered a lewd, drawn out sigh. Having been together for so long, you'd had a lot of time to get to know each other, at that point you knew everything that jooheon liked. You knew all his weak spots and favorite positions. You knew just how to work him up, and so you did. After taking a deep breath, you sucked jooheon's cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head with your lips clamped firmly around his length. He hissed and the sound urged you to keep going, to loosen your lips up and slide him further into your mouth before drawing back up. Eyes closed and head thrown back, jooheon allowed you to take the reigns and do whatever you wanted to him, a pleasant idea. One hand cupped his balls, gently massaging them as you bobbed your head up and down, slowly working jooheon farther and farther into your throat as you went until the tip of his dick reached the back. You held still for a moment, just as long as you could manage, listening to jooheon's unrestrained moan above you. You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, jooheon's dick sitting on your tongue like a lollipop only long enough for you to appreciate the weight of it in your mouth and for him to appreciate the sight. When you pushed your head back down, you swallowed as thickly as possible around jooheon's length and the guttural moan that erupted in response sent a shockwave of arousal straight to your core.  
Without warning, he reached out and grabbed you by the hair, pulling you all the way off of him. You released his cock with a resounding pop and the sight of you with swollen red lips, spit dribbling down your chin and teary eyes had jooheon groaning impatiently. "Fuck, I cant wait anymore. Come on, baby," he was saying, but your head was so fuzzy and fogged over with lust that even before he'd finished speaking, you had already started to pull yourself out of his grip and up to straddle him. One thing about jooheon was that he was very, very into dirty talk, so much so that he'd once came in his pants just from your words, something you didnt think was possible but he never failed to surprise you. It was awkward at first, but with time, you'd gotten more used to it and gotten far better than when you'd started. Reaching between the two of you, you grabbed jooheon's cock tightly, rubbing it up and down your slick folds teasingly. "Fuck, I'm already so wet for you," you mused quietly. You teased the tip of his member at your entrance before sliding it back up against your folds once more. The action had jooheon's hands gripping your hips so tight as he refrained from touching you that you were sure there would be bruises the next day. "Yeah, you are," he took in a deep breath, "so wet you're practically dripping all over me already."  
Heat rose to your cheeks and you once again teased at your entrance, only that time you held him there, pushing deliciously against you but not yet entering. "Will you fuck me good, honey?" The tone of voice you used sounded so innocent as if you were politely asking for directions. Jooheon's tongue peeked out to wet his lips and the urge to bite, to suck on his tongue had you reaching forward and capturing his lips in another heated kiss. Tongues tangled together until you'd had enough and bit down on his tongue. The taste of iron vaguely registered but both of you were too far gone to pay any mind to it as you soothed the ache of the bite by wrapping your lips around the muscle and sucking, massaging it. When you pulled back, you asked again, "will you fuck me good, honey?" That time, the lust in jooheon's eyes was early an answer on its own but still he replied, "like my life depends on it, baby." Without any further delay, you pushed your hips forward, forward, forward until you'd taken all of jooheon.  
In terms of length, jooheon was about average, maybe a little less. But he was thick, so thick your walls ached as they took him in nearly everytime the two of you had gotten intimate. A long whine that sounded more like a mewl ripped out of you as you seated yourself fully. Immediately, your hips shot into action. The drag against his cock against your walls burned in all the right ways, leaving you near breathless as you leaned forward and tangled your fingers into jooheon's hair. You leaned into him, whispering into his ear, "I wanna be walking with a limp tomorrow. I want to remember the way you feel inside me with every step I take. Can you make that happen?" The question had jooheon deftly navigating you onto your back. As if just realizing he was naked from the waist down only, jooheon tugged his shirt over his head before hoisting one of your legs over his shoulder. The action had him reaching deeper into you, the tip of his cock brushing gently against your sweet spot. You openly whined at the feeling. "Again, honey, again," you ordered and without a single complaint, jooheon snapped his hips back and forth, reaching for that spot that had your vision blurring.  
You lost count of how many times you moaned the man's name as he slowly worked you up. His free hand reached down and rubbed at your clit, sending extra shockwaves of pleasure throughout your whole body. "You're doing so good, honey," you panted, feeding into jooheon's desire for praise. every thrust pushed your body further up the couch until your head hit the armrest and restricted you from going any further, thus making each connection of your hips that little bit more forceful. Your stomach twisted into knots with the foretelling of your incoming climax. And if the twitching of jooheon's cock inside of you was anything to go by, you were sure he was close as well. "Jooheon, I'm gonna cum, can you hold off until then?" You barely managed to get your question out before your walls had begun constricting, suffocating jooheon's cock with their grip as you rode out your high. A string of obscenities fell from the man's lips as he fucked you through it. Once your body relaxed, he quickly pulled out of you and the sudden loss left you feeling empty both physically and emotionally. After a couple flicks of his wrist, jooheon was painting your stomach with hot spurts of cum.  
He fell back against the opposite side's arm rest and silence enveloped the space, the only sound being that of the two of you catching your breaths. After a few moments, jooheon stood up and walked off, presumably to retrieve something to clean off with. Left with your thoughts, a sudden guilt began gnawing away at you. You thought maybe you shouldn't have done that, maybe it would've only made things worse. You'd gotten so lost in your thoughts that you hadn't noticed jooheon's return until a wet towel was being rubbed across your stomach, ridding you of the evidence of your tryst. Once you were cleaned up, the two of you slowly redressed yourselves and retook your seats on each respective side of the sofa.  
"So," jooheon was the first to break the silence and the look of utter heartbreak on jooheon's face was enough to make you want to beg him for forgiveness, to not let him go. But if you were honest with yourself, it wouldn't have been fair to either of you if you stayed together. "So," you repeated quietly, your eyes glued to the cushion between the two of you. "This is it then?" He asked. You took a sharp breath and closed your eyes, refusing to let the hot tears that welled up to spill. "I suppose so," you confirmed. Another long silence stretched out, though there was so much you wanted to say but couldn't. "For the record, I have no regrets. I'm glad that I met you, and that I got to be with you," jooheon mused. With a sad smile, he continued, "even if it didnt last forever, or even as long as I'd hoped it would, the fraction of time that I got to spend with you was amazing and has helped to make me the guy I am right now. I think our relationship had meaning, if nothing else then at least we got to help eachother grow through these years." The two of you spoke for a bit longer, expressing your gratitude for one another and the time you spent with eachother and then it was over, and jooheon was gone.


End file.
